the continuing drama
I feel a sense of some small relief- I know messages have been delivered and can maybe get something worked out without urgent court orders. My life is bizarro world right now. I don't know what I think or feel- I say that because it changes like the wind- all these jumble of emotions- My brain seems to be having difficulty assimilating everything. My heart isn't ready to try. My heart and my brain seem to be working from different view points. The pain of all this is down there- it came out once and that was beyond horrible in agonizing wailing gut wrenching cries- I do not want to go there again. I do not know what set it off- that I caught him I imagine- furious I had checked his phone- furious at himself for making it so easy to find his lies. He went from congenial to murderous in a flash. I thank God that he broke out of that psycho fit or whatever the hell he was in and he stopped- . The chaplain called me back and said he was talking to his superiors and asking him to have a lawyer contact me or my attorney. Life is so confusing right now. There was another school cancellation due to snow so I only used 3 days last week. I am debating whether to go back on Monday or wait til after Easter break which next a week Tuesday. I know I am tired, I know I still have legal business, I know should see a counsellor. I know I want to spend time with friends, my parents. Did I mention my brother has not really said anything to me- via phone, text, email,facebook nothing- I told him my husband was in jail and he said good place for him- nothing since then- not even through my mom. My brother and I are not especially close but I thought he might have something to say. My mom likes to think he is so upset he won't say anything- I do not know.